IT’S ALMOST 2020

This is my last blog post for 2019. Originally, I planned on writing a Christmas blog post and putting it up on December 24th – but sometimes I’m lazy and never get around to some things. My plan was to write a blog post similar to this one – Merry (Choiseul) Christmas – and chronicle how amazing my Christmas culture is. 

STILL GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT THOUGH

A few weeks ago, I asked people about their Christmas culture and nobody really seemed to have one. It made me more appreciative of my country-side Christmas traditions. Once upon a time that would include sewenal (where people from the community would make DIY instruments and sing traditional songs). Now my Christmas culture is a watered-down version of house to house. Fewer people come over as the years go by. I don’t know what exactly contributes to what seems to be a tradition in its last years. 

SO WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

This year’s Christmas in Morne Sion, Choiseul was unnaturally quiet. It wasn’t silent all day, but the half-hour in which my neighbour parked his car outside my house and played Christmas songs really loudly couldn’t compare to years past. I don’t know what will happen next Christmas. I don’t know if I’ll be in Choiseul next Christmas either – although I’d like to be. 

It’s not just next Christmas that I’m concerned about. It’s the entirety of 2020. I’m not one to ever make new years resolutions. I didn’t make any for 2019, although I did make a vision board which is lost somewhere in my room. I only accomplished about two of the things I had put down on it. I got a new job but even that has its pros and cons. As for the new year that’s less than a week away – there will be no vision board. There will be no resolutions. 

SO WHAT THE HELL WILL HAPPEN IN 2020?

I’ve been trying to figure that out for some time now. I’ve almost had to call my therapist to ask her to try to figure it out for me. I was convinced I had an epiphany some nights ago and felt like I could take charge of the year and that everything would be perfect. That was a lie and I’m still confused. 

If I’ve learnt anything this year is that my desire to have everything planned out and organized hinders my ability to enjoy things in the moment. It has made me realize that I’m already doing the same thing to a year that hasn’t even started yet. Somehow, I don’t really care. I’ll be trying to figure out 2020 well into the year.

ARE GOALS AND RESOLUTIONS THE SAME THING?

Probably not. I suppose I do have some goals I’d like to accomplish if I can stay motivated past February. A lot of people talk about doing what you’re passionate about as a pathway to happiness, but admittedly if I did, I’d be broke. I can’t even try to make resolutions because although I know what I don’t want the next 12 months to be like the last 12, I don’t know what to change. I suppose now that 2020 draws closer, I’m having a life crisis at the age of 21. I do know that I want to do a couple of things though like:

• Working on fortifying my mental health (that’s been going on for 7 years now)
• Writing more. I write all day at work which makes my blog and other things feel like a chore
• Buying myself nice things. Life is fleeting. Buy nice things. 
• Buying new books
• Attempting to be ‘spontaneous’. Lol

SO YH – IT’S REALLY ALMOST 2020

Some of you reading this may wonder why I’m placing so much emphasis on a 12-month time frame. I did mention that I like to be ridiculously organized in my own chaotic way. I like making lists. I like knowing what I’m doing for the day, week, month or year even if I never accomplish it. The point is that I planned it out. 

I don’t know how I want to end this blog post much like I don’t know what 2020 is going to turn out to be. Do you have goals or resolutions? You can share them in the comments here, or on social media. It’s almost 2020 and the least we can do is plan it out.